tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3591859524968363570.post5039895418929470345..comments2014-02-20T09:20:12.035-08:00Comments on Vidamia: Buenos Aires: Stray Experiences in and out of MilongasBailarinas Vidamiahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15403525536499392315noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3591859524968363570.post-53840447105224866692014-02-11T01:36:50.128-08:002014-02-11T01:36:50.128-08:00;-) I hope they all agree with you Susan.;-) I hope they all agree with you Susan.Bailarinas Vidamiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15403525536499392315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3591859524968363570.post-49124887508527346822014-02-11T01:36:08.927-08:002014-02-11T01:36:08.927-08:00Hi Jaro,
I'm sorry but I just saw your comme...Hi Jaro, <br /><br />I'm sorry but I just saw your comment now. You are right about how our behavior reflects on the people around us; the more we open up and act friendly, the friendlier people will be with us. I have two problems with this:<br /><br />1) I was teased a lot by my classmates in middle and high school. I don't open up easily, and I don't trust easily. I also have a dis insisted sense of self-worth eg: I am always afraid to bore people or bother them, and think they won't care what I have to say anyway.<br /><br />2) I am a little bit of an introvert. If I spend too much time around people, I get exhausted, and need some quiet alone time to recuperate. As some people are less exhausting then others, and some actually give me energy, I tend to gravitate towards the ones I am more compatible with. Also, to having an infinite amount of energy, I invest it in my friends, people I care about! and lastly people it seems I would enjoy dancing with - future cabeceo prospects ;-)<br /><br />I am trying to open up and make friends, but it takes a few meetings before I remotely trust someone. I agree completely with not needing to dance with people you don't enjoy dancing with. Personally, if I am dancing with someone twice that person should know that to a certain degree I either enjoy his dancing, either believes he has the potential to improve. <br /><br />As for the dressing up... Yes, guilty as charged. I enjoy feeling pretty in a milonga, and I am more likely to dance with a handsome stranger than, let's say... Quasimodo. Also, I find it much more attractive when men wear tango pants or at least large comfortable pants instead of skinny jeans or, god forbid, bermudas/shorts. Again, you are also right in saying that the main reason the best dancers dance with or don't dance with you may be skill, but can also be personality, attributes, looks, and so on.<br /><br />I remember a friend telling me about the DJ in the milonga we met: he's really picky, but he'll give you one tanda if you're cute. One. Well, it the fourth time I dance with him today! and I do believe that's the most genuine compliment you can give someone in a milonga. Invite them again.<br /><br />I do hope I don't make anybody feel like practicing tools... I can get over enthusiastic about applying things I see in class, but it's because I genuinely want to get better, so my partners (present one included) will enjoy the dancing more. But you're absolutely right, milongas aren't a place to work! Thanks for the reminder ;-) and thank you for the comment. <br />I'm writing this at 6.35 after Yeite, so forgive any inconsistencies...Bailarinas Vidamiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15403525536499392315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3591859524968363570.post-35163375800689322962014-02-10T08:17:40.433-08:002014-02-10T08:17:40.433-08:00I think they ask you to dance because you are a ve...I think they ask you to dance because you are a very good dancer. SSusanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00422198515616799275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3591859524968363570.post-40144844402956003872014-02-09T14:54:17.883-08:002014-02-09T14:54:17.883-08:00Hi Mia :),
nice blog, it's good written, info...Hi Mia :),<br /><br />nice blog, it's good written, informative and entertaining, that's rare!<br /><br />About one of the things you have written I was just discussing with another dancer/follower who is for the first time in BsAs and has the same experience (first I thought it was her Blog until I read that it's you :) ).<br /><br />It's about the dancing with people and being at the Milongas.<br />And not getting that lucky despite of working hard on your Tango.<br /><br />From my experience very much depends on oneself.<br />If I act insecure, being afraid to embarrass myself in any way, or just doing something "the safe way" instead of just in a relaxed my own way, all of this reflects out to other people. <br />Then one seems distant, closed up and not really in a "social mood".<br />From this reflection people react to one mostly in the same way. Or one becomes "invisible", because of the hiding in insecurity.<br />So, even if all of this is not happening consciously, people react to all of this signals we send out, and leave us alone and in peace. For us then the others seem distant and closed up.<br />Mostly it is because we are.<br />So, the solution is just to be honest, to know what you can and what not and accept it first. If you are open to the people, not too selective (with you kindness/friendliness, not necessarily with you dances ;) ), they will open up too and we begin to meet people and have a nice time :)<br /><br />I know that it is not always that easy to open up and be honest to yourself and the other and let people see all of you insecurities.<br />But in Tango we are partly artists and and WANT to share the connection with other people, so we have to open up to everyone and enjoy doing it! :)<br /><br />Just check yourself if this is the case. If no, then work on it. It will change a lot :)<br /><br />Of course there are some closed up communities who really do not accept new faces (or it takes a very long time to do so), but I have not experienced this in BsAs (rather in Europe...).<br /><br />But being kind and open to everyone does not mean to need to dance with people with whom it does not feel good, this is something else.<br />Do you agree?<br /><br />And of course it helps when you are attractive, why not? Why do people dress up (mostly women, ok, but men sometimes too)? To be even more attractive!<br />It's nothing bad to be a little superficial, the looks is the first thing we react to and more often than not, it inspires us to want to dance with someone in the first place. Good dancing skills come usually as the second "inspiration" :). If anybody says that it's the other way around then he/she is not being honest (to other or her/himself...).<br />Of course if you are just good looking and are not able to make a enjoyable connection with you partner, then you you get one Tanda and that's it...the first impression goes just that far ;).<br /><br />Ah and take care about one thing: don't give you partner at a Milonga the impression you are practicing with him. Most of them surely don't want to be just practicing tools (if not especially agreed on it before) :).<br /><br />Keep on blogging and take care on the way home! Hugs Jaro<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03620613719320502514noreply@blogger.com